You only hear the music when your heart begins to break

Have you ever thought that if just one thing in your life had happened differently, you’d be someone else today? Just one thing and you would be a completely different version of yourself.

I think about it sometimes. I don’t think about my entire life, just one incident. I keep wondering that, had we never moved back to Alta (my hometown) many years ago, who would I be today? Would I still have the same best friend today as I did that time? Would I be one of the people I’ve come to dislike over the years? Would I have kept playing handball and gotten good at it? Would I study properly like I used to, like them, and graduated from school with great or at least decent grades? Hadn’t we moved, would I be someone determined and would I know what career to pursue? Would I be a ‘normal’ person and would my perspective be like everyone else’s? Not sticking out at all.

Or would I still become who I am today? The girl I was best friends with, would our friendship go sour and I’d end up as an outcast despite that I never was before? Would I befriend the same type of crazy people that I’ve befriended after we moved? Would I become a sarcastic, annoying, arrogant, self-conscious, anxious, introverted, cold, withdrawn, polite, shy, ironic, opinionated, angry person even if we never moved from that place? Would I still not know what to do of myself? Would I start liking all the things I like today, Japan, J-rock, K-pop, piercings, tattoos, art, books, movies, and such? Would I want to be more a boy than a girl?

If just that one incident had never occurred, or had it happened later. Would I have been a different person than who I am today? Or am I destined to be the way I am not matter what happens and how it happens? Am I me because this is how I'm supposed to be?

Mood: Hungry
Music: So far away - Staind