Pa Le Ni (Scared of you) - HIT-5

我等在你门口
Wo den zai ni men kou
I wait by your door

看着你做研究
Kan zhe ni zuo yan jiu
Watching you try to decide

衣服和口红 换来换去要很久
Yi fu he kou hong Huan lai huan qu yao hen jiu
You keep changing your clothes and lipstick for a very long time

你总是抱怨三百六十五天还不够
Ni zong shi bao yuan san bai liu shi wu tian hai bu gou
You’ve always complained that 365 days isn’t enough

不够你对着镜子show
Bu gou Ni dui zhe jing zi show
It isn’t enough; you show your mirror [errr it's tough to translate this so it doesn't really make sense]

忘记了带手机 别对我发脾气
Wang ji le dai shou ji Bie dui wo fa pi qi
Your forgot your cell phone, don’t get angry at me [it's more like 'don't take it out on me']

怪就怪自己 永远都粗心大意
Guai jiu guai zi ji yong yuan dou cu xin da yi
If you’re to blame anyone, blame yourself; you’re always so careless

可我却愿意永远做你的专属助理
Ke wo que yian yi yong yuan zuo ni de zhuan shu zhu li
But I’m willing to be your personal assistant forever oh~

*就一朵鲜花
Jiu yi duo xian hua
Just one flower

就一个电话
Jiu yi ge dian hua
Just one phone call

就一个拥抱足以让人家牵挂
Jiu yi ge yong bao zu yi rang ren jia qian gua
Just one hug is enough to make a person worried

每一次可爱
Mei yi ci ke ai
Each time you act cute

每一次耍赖
Mei yi ci shua lai
Each time you act dishonestly

每一次你要任性离开
Mei yi ci ni yao ren xin li kai
Each time you willfully leave

我都等你回来
Wo dou deng ni hui lai
I wait for you to come back oh~

**真的怕了你
Jin de pa le ni
I’m really scared of you

思维没逻辑
Si wei mei luo ji
I can’t think logically

可我从没生过气
Ke wo cong mei sheng guo qi
But I’ve never become angry before

我有一点点怕了你
Wo yao yi dian dian pa le ni
I’ve become a little bit scared of you

有一点委屈 没关系
Yao yi dian wei qu Mei guan xi
I feel a little wronged, but it doesn’t matter

因为我的心中只会爱你
Yin wei wo de xin zhong zhi hui ai ni
Because in my heart I will only love you

我球鞋很糟糕 也不懂逗你笑
Wo qiu xie hen zao gao Ye bu dong dou ni ziao
My sneakers are a mess, and I don’t know how to make you smile

可是你总说 你的感觉都很好
Ke shi ni zong shuo Ni de gan jue dou hen hao
But you’ve always said you feel that it’s all good

我知道你什么都不会也做不太好
Wo zhi dao ni shen me dou bu hui ye zuo bu tai hao
I know that you can’t do anything very well [more like..."I know you don't know how to do anything nor do it well]

但是我也不会计较
Dan shi wo ye bu hui ji jiao
But I won’t complain [complain or care]

也许有点默契 喜欢你倔脾气
Ye xu you dian mo qi Xi huan ni jue pi qi
Perhaps there’s some understanding; I like your stubborn temper

你总不小心 笑起来那么美丽
Ni zong bu xiao xin Xiao qi lai na me mei li
You’re never careful; you smile so beautifully

因为你就是我这辈子心中的唯一
Yin wei ni jiu shi wo zhe bei zi xin zhong de wei yi
Because in my life, you’re the only one in my heart oh~

*就一朵鲜花
Jiu yi duo xian hua
Just one flower

就一个电话
Jiu yi ge dian hua
Just one phone call

就一个拥抱足以让人家牵挂
Jiu yi ge yong bao zu yi rang ren jia qian gua
Just one hug is enough to make a person worried

每一次可爱
Mei yi ci ke ai
Each time you act cute

每一次耍赖
Mei yi ci shua lai
Each time you act dishonestly

每一次你要任性离开
Mei yi ci ni yao ren xin li kai
Each time you willfully leave

我都等你回来
Wo dou deng ni hui lai
I wait for you to come back oh~

**真的怕了你
Jin de pa le ni
I’m really scared of you

思维没逻辑
Si wei mei luo ji
I can’t think logically

可我从没生过气
Ke wo cong mei sheng guo qi
But I’ve never become angry before

我有一点点怕了你
Wo yao yi dian dian pa le ni
I’ve become a little bit scared of you

有一点委屈 没关系
Yao yi dian wei qu Mei guan xi
I feel a little wronged, but it doesn’t matter

因为我的心中只会爱你
Yin wei wo de xin zhong zhi hui ai ni
Because in my heart I will only love you


Credit: lilpinkfrog

What colour is your birthday?

August 5th - August 13th = Blue

Blue
You have low self-esteem, and very picky. You are artistic and like to fall in love, but you love with your mind and not your heart.

The kids from yesterday - My Chemical Romance

And now this could be the last of all the rides we take
So hold on tight and don't look back
We don't care about the message or the rules they make
We'll find you when the sun goes black

And you want to live forever in the lights you make
When we were young we used to say
"That you only hear the music when your heart begins to break"
Now we are the kids from yesterday

All the cameras watch the accidents and stars you hate
They only care if you can bleed
Does the television make you feel the pills you ate?
Or every person that you need to be?

Cause you wanna live forever in the lights you make
When we were young we used to say
"That you only hear the music when your heart begins to break"
Now we are the kids from yesterday

Today, today
We are the kids from yesterday
Today, today

We're young the world stopped breathing
Yeah we left 'til your heart stops beating

Cause you wanna live forever in the lights you make
When we were young we used to say
"That you only hear the music when your heart begins to break"
Now we are the kids from yesterday
We are the kids from yesterday
We are the kids from yesterday
We are the kids from yesterday
Today, today

Does the television make you feel the pills you ate? Or every person that you need to be?

I know that I'm trying my hardest at doing everything. But I also know I'm not doing enough. Cause I know I should, but I just can't find any will to do school work. I know I should talk to my friends, but I don't have anything to say. Not that I have many friends either.

I had many before we moved some years ago. Then I started at a new school and struggled to fit in, yet I had many friends. Changed school's again and stopped trying. Graduated from that school and took two friends with me. Started school anew and only got along with my classmates, didn't even want to make friends with them. And I changed school's again and got loads of new friends, then I left that school and lost those friends. And recently a long time friend of mine, I can't find a reason for us to be friends. I'm constantly frustrated with how that person is. We don't hang out and we don't have anything to talk about. I got tired of doing all the work with our friendship, and once I stepped down, it died out. Makes me doubt she ever even wanted to be friends with me really. But it's fine, I'm done playing around.

I should work harder at school. I should work harder at home. I should work harder at everything. I know I work hard, and I also know that I don't have a spirit anymore. Everything about me is hollow and empty and missing. I don't see myself becoming anything cause I don't know what career I want. I don't see myself working anywhere. I don't see myself doing anything. I don't see myself ever being alive again. I'm so empty. Looking back on the last couple of weeks, did I even have one meaningful, decent conversation? Did I say something that wasn't obvious? Did I make up an opinion about something? What have I been doing these last couple of months? Looking back on photographs I took of myself, glass eyes showing a hollow soul. I find it hard to connect with people lately. I don't feel much sympathy for anyone. I don't relate well to their stories. Distance is growing longer, relationships only get colder. I'm young, there's so much I'm supposed to do, so much to see, so much to experience and live. Yet, I can barely find it in me to get up every morning. The days have no purpose and all that I'm lacking makes it a hundred times more uncomfortable around people, and I already have social anxiety. Or. Well. Some part of me tries so hard to care. Then the stronger part of me is indifferent to everything. I'm not making sense anymore.

I don't know why I am the way I am. If you want me to explain it, I can. Lately I've become good at lying to others. And I hate liars more than anything. Yet I just can't stop the lies from slipping off my own tongue. Can't control my mind enough to keep the lies from forming. And once I've said something, I just can't find it in myself to say it was a lie or apologize.


Mood: Blah
Music: G.O.O.D. LUV - MBLAQ

You only hear the music when your heart begins to break

Have you ever thought that if just one thing in your life had happened differently, you’d be someone else today? Just one thing and you would be a completely different version of yourself.

I think about it sometimes. I don’t think about my entire life, just one incident. I keep wondering that, had we never moved back to Alta (my hometown) many years ago, who would I be today? Would I still have the same best friend today as I did that time? Would I be one of the people I’ve come to dislike over the years? Would I have kept playing handball and gotten good at it? Would I study properly like I used to, like them, and graduated from school with great or at least decent grades? Hadn’t we moved, would I be someone determined and would I know what career to pursue? Would I be a ‘normal’ person and would my perspective be like everyone else’s? Not sticking out at all.

Or would I still become who I am today? The girl I was best friends with, would our friendship go sour and I’d end up as an outcast despite that I never was before? Would I befriend the same type of crazy people that I’ve befriended after we moved? Would I become a sarcastic, annoying, arrogant, self-conscious, anxious, introverted, cold, withdrawn, polite, shy, ironic, opinionated, angry person even if we never moved from that place? Would I still not know what to do of myself? Would I start liking all the things I like today, Japan, J-rock, K-pop, piercings, tattoos, art, books, movies, and such? Would I want to be more a boy than a girl?

If just that one incident had never occurred, or had it happened later. Would I have been a different person than who I am today? Or am I destined to be the way I am not matter what happens and how it happens? Am I me because this is how I'm supposed to be?

Mood: Hungry
Music: So far away - Staind

So far away - Staind

This is my life
It’s not what it was before
All these feelings I’ve shared
And these are my dreams
That I’ve never lived before
Somebody shake me
Cause I, I must be sleeping

And now that we're here
So far away
All the struggle we thought was in vain
And all the mistakes
One life contained
They all finally start to go away
And now that we're here it’s so far away
And I feel like I can face the day
I can forgive
And I’m not ashamed
To be the person that I am today

These are my words
That I’ve never said before
I think I’m doing ok
And this is the smile
That I’ve never shown before
Somebody shake me
Cause I, I must be sleeping

And now that we’re here
So far away
All the struggle we thought was in vain
And all the mistakes
One life contained
They all finally start to go away
And now that we’re here, so far away
And I feel like I can face the day
I can forgive
And I’m not ashamed
To be the person that I am today

I'm so afraid of waking
Please don't shake me
Afraid of waking
Please don’t shake me

And now that we’re here
So far away
All the struggle we thought was in vain
And all the mistakes
One life contained
They all finally start to go away
And now that were here, so far away
And I feel like I can face the day
I can forgive
And I’m not ashamed
To be the person that I am today

Poison oak - Bright Eyes

Poison oak, some boyhood bravery
When a telephone was a tin can on a string
And I fell asleep with you still talking to me
You said you weren't afraid to die

In polaroids you were dressed in women's clothes
Were you made ashamed, why'd you lock them in a drawer?
Well, I don't think that I ever loved you more

Then when you turned away
When you slammed the door
When you stole the car
And drove towards Mexico
And you wrote bad checks
Just to fill your arm
I was young enough, I still believed in war

Well, let the poets cry themselves to sleep
And all their tearful words will turn back into steam

But me, I'm a single cell
On a serpents tongue
There's a muddy field where a garden was
And I'm glad you got away
But I'm still stuck out here
My clothes are soaking wet
From your brother's tears

And I never thought this life was possible
You're the yellow bird that I've been waiting for

The end of paralysis
I was a statuette
Now I'm drunk as hell on a piano bench
And when I press the keys
It all gets reversed
The sound of loneliness makes me happier

Hopeless - Train

I hopelessly, helplessly, wonder why
Everything gotta change around me
I'd tell it to your face
But you lost your face along the way
And I'd say it on the phone
If I thought you were alone
Why do things have to change?

But you don't need my pictures on your wall
You say you need no one
And you don't need my secret midnight call
I guess you need no one
Is anybody waiting at home for you?
Cause it's time that will tell, if it's heaven, if it's hell or if it's
Anybody waiting at home for you
Cause it's time that will tell this tale

You're in and out, up and down
Wonder if you're lost or found
But I got my hands on you
Are you strong enough to toe the line?
Are you gonna make me yours?
Or do I make you mine?
I'm in and out, I'm up and down
Wonder if I'm lost or found
But I need your hands on me now

But you don't need my pictures on your wall
You say you need no one
And you don't need my secret midnight call
I guess you need no one
Is anybody waiting at home for you?
Cause it's time that will tell, if it's heaven, if it's hell or if it's
Anybody waiting at home for you
Cause it's time that will tell this tale

(Anybody waiting at home?)

I hopelessly, helplessly, wonder why

(Is anybody waiting at home?)

Everything gotta change

Losing ground - Tyrone Wells

Seems like a riddle
How do people move on?
When everything has gone wrong?

Oh, and where did it come from?
How can it be so strong?
How does the rain fall for so long?
So long

Something tripped me, took my legs out
Thought I could fix it, repair it, climb over it
I'm so scared, I need you to hold me down
Hold me down, I'm losing ground

Seems like a battle
How can anyone ever win?
How can we start over again?

Sometimes I say I'd like you better
If you were only a little bit stronger
But I know I'm talking to me
When I'm talking to you
So what are we gonna do?

Something tripped us, took our legs out
Thought we could fix it, repair it, climb over it
I'm so scared, need you to hold me down
Hold me down, I'm losing ground, oh
Losing, losing ground

Something tripped me, took my legs out
Thought I could fix it, repair it, climb over it
Something tripped me, took my legs out
Thought I could fix it, repair it, climb over it

I'm so scared, I need you to hold me down
Hold me down, hold me down, I'm losing ground
Hold me down, hold me down, I'm losing ground

Perfect stranger - Jason Tsou

Dive from the blue sky
To see who I really am
Facing my desire
With the answer
To start again, be brave again

What will stop in my way?
Who will challenge the fate?
The test of pain and rack
Are we living in circus?
Cause I’ll beat up my curse
Cause I’m sure we’ll take the race

Give my beat alive
Holding my will
I’ve never met someone like you
Take my breath away
Cause I’m blind in your smile
Using tears burying the lie

Oh, Pretty Stranger
Rock my soul and world
With a gentle kiss
Fly, making me fly
To eternal
Oh, once again, the love we make
Until the sun has arisen
Our life will bond together
Oh mine, perfect stranger

Would you dream about me?
Could you spend time with me?
I crave for your lip life time
Breathing in frozen fever
Standing in burning winter
All the misery, need you by my side

Give my beat alive
Now seize the time
Defeat the weak and break my runaway
Take my breath away
Cause I’m conquered by your eyes
And I am losing all my mind

Oh, Pretty Stranger
Rock my soul and world
With a gentle kiss
Fly, making me fly
To eternal
Oh, once again, the love we make
Until the sun has arisen
Our life will bond together
Oh mine, perfect stranger

Give my beat alive
Now seize the time
Defeat the weak and break my runaway
Take my breath away
Cause I’m conquered by your eyes
And I am losing all my mind

Oh, Pretty Stranger
Rock my soul and world
With a gentle kiss
Fly, making me fly
To eternal
Oh, once again, the love we make
Until the sun has arisen
Our life will bond together

Oh, Pretty Stranger
Rock my soul and world
With a gentle kiss
Fly, making me fly
To eternal
Oh, once again, the love we make
Until the sun has arisen
Our life will bond together
Oh mine, perfect stranger